Wednesday, April 04, 2012

ALL LIES

The biggest lies in the Life of Stargirl. In no particular order

  • After this year, your work won't be accepted unless it's written in cursive
  • You need a college degree to be successful, unless you want to be flipping burgers
  • If you have a college degree, you're basically guaranteed a great job with great pay
  • Drugs and alcohol are AWFUL AND DANGEROUS and will pretty much kill you. 
  • The food pyramid
  • There are most definitely 100% positively WMD's in Iraq
  • "I have read and agree to the Terms and Conditions"
  • Your cat ran away
  • Too much caffeine will stunt your growth
  • With liberty and justice for all
  • Y2K
  • This is one of those papers that you can't write the night before it's due
  • Internet Piracy is destroying the internet
  • If you find an Indian shooting a start on a Tootsie-Pop wrapper, you can send it in for more free Tootsie-Pops.
  • If you pee in the pool, the water will turn purple
  • "Permanent Record"
  • You'll get that social security money back when you're older

And the best:
You need to learn math without a calculator because in the real world, you won't be walking around with a calculator in your pocket.

Enter: Smartphones. CHECK MATE MATH TEACHERS!

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