Friday, March 30, 2012

The Other Love of My Life

Several years ago I dated a black belt and began to train with him in Kuk Sool Won. We dated for a few years and had some good and some bad times. Mostly good, I think. Mostly bad towards the end. Mostly my fault.

Anyway... even after we broke up, I wanted to continue my training. By this point I was a red belt. In Kuk Sool Won it goes: white, yellow, blue, red, brown, black. And It takes as long to get from white to brown as it does to get from brown to black.

I found a Kuk Sool Won school about 40 minutes from my college. I began attending and training under Sa Bum Nim Jason. He was an excellent instructor and I very much enjoyed being his student. However, health and finances intervened. I became a sporadic student. I received occasional emails from SBN to the tune of "Come back! We miss you!" and "Don't waste your potential!" I appreciated them all and made efforts to return. But eventually I stopped going. My schedule just didn't mesh with the Kuk Sool Won schedule.

Not long after, I received an email from SBN that he was closing his school.

Flash forward to two years later. I'm healthy. I've been working out solidly, regularly, for about a year now. My finances are in decent order and I've just earned a new, higher paying position. I always told myself I'd search for a new school once I had the funds. The funds were now had. And I could not stop thinking about Kuk Sool Won.

I pulled out my Kuk Sool Won uniform about a week ago and just looked at it. I pulled out my text books and flipped through volume one. The techniques were foreign, yet so very familiar. I resolved to contact SBN Jason and, if he was teaching again, beg his forgiveness and beg that he teach me again.

I crafted an email and waited. And waited. And waited...

Really, it was only two days, but I sit at a computer all day. My empty inbox was taunting me. Suddenly, about thirty minutes before I called it quits yesterday, I received a reply. Jason is no longer affiliated with the WKSA. He no longer teaches nor trains. I could feel my heart breaking. I was sad that I hadn't taken advantage of the amazing instructor in front of me when I had the opportunity. Sad that I might not get to practice Kuk Sool Won again unless I moved. I love Kuk Sool Won, I really truly do. I don't know that I love it enough to drive a four hour round trip twice a week.

I have had a second thought: when I was a student in Anderson, the chief instructor, Kwan Jang Nym, taught once a week in Greenville. I think I would be able to make a three hour round trip once a week. The distance and time would be equivalent to my commute to Jason's old school twice a week.

While trying to find out if Jason was still teaching, I had already emailed my ex-boyfriend (Pu Sa Bum Nim J). Was KJN still teaching in Greenville? Would he take me back? And, would it bother PSBN if I started training under KJN again?

I don't have a reply yet. I hope the reply is yes, yes, no (or at least, not much). I'd rather put the extra miles on my car than start at a new school, a new style, with a new instructor.

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