Tuesday, February 21, 2012


I've added a workout log. If you noticed from my January Highlights, I started working out again. I threw myself back into healthy fitness mode around the first week of the year. We'll in a little over a week I'll post my February highlights and you'll find that near the end of January I started getting depressed. It's just this thing that happens to me. And then I get all existential and a little nihilistic and I lie in bed because nothing actually matters. It didn't help that I was listening to The Vampire Lestat at the time and he was also going through an existential crisis (this is before he became a vampire). And then I started The Stranger but threw it down and didn't finish it. You can't start The Stranger and not finish it. You need to or else everything is ruined. FOREVER.

Seriously, it's a short book, very short. Very good. But you must finish it. The ending is essential.

But I didn't. So, I just got more upset about the meaningless absurdity of everything.

I'm feeling a little better, now. I just need to force myself to have purpose so that I can forget that we all die and nothing matters and I'm really broke. So, I have a chore list. I must do at least one chore each day that I'm off. Including weekends. That at least forces me to do something productive on my days off. Even if it's just changing the kitty box. I realized that doing chores gives me a sense of control. If the dishes are done, that is something that I cause. I can control how clean the house is. It's silly, but in this fucked up chaotic world, we need some little things that we can control. My whole life is about seeking control, I think. Which is why I enjoy dieting and working out. It's something that I can control.

So, fitness. I've started a workout log so that my attempts at physical fitness are public. I am past the point of wanting to loose weight. I'm pretty thin. I don't need to loose more weight, I need to be stronger now. I am so very very weak. I have no stamina or strength. I'm like a Level 1 Mage who hasn't mastered Fireball. I'm trying to stab mudcrabs with my dagger and they are murdering me every fucking time. I got through 1/6 of an excellent workout today and realized that I cannot just jump into strength training without having a proper diet. I feel like shit right now because my body is crying out for nutrition.

Second type of fitness: Mental Fitness. I don't necessarily mean my state of mental health. I mean more like cognitive skills. I scramble and solve a Rubik's cube two or three times a week. If I don't do it for a couple weeks, I completely forget. I do various number puzzles (Sudoku and Kakura) every day almost. I occasionally hope on Live Mocha to work on learning French and Spanish (I really wish they had Tagalog). I've just discovered Luminosity, which reminds me of Brain Age, but better I think. You tell Luminosity what you want to work on and it customizes a routine for you. Can do one session each day, and they recommend doing three to five sessions a week (just like physical fitness). It's a lot of fun, and I think I'm going to make it my work homepage. It doesn't take much time and it'll be a good brain boost. Khan Academy is also a great place to get a brain boost, and to improve your knowledge. The set up reminds me of a skill tree. I've just started on a math skill tree. It starts with simple addition (4 +7) and you work your way up. If you need help getting through one of the exercises, there are instructional videos (which I'm sure I'll need in the higher maths). I'm not sure how far it goes, but it is fun and keeps your mind moving.

So, fitness.

Lots of types of fitness. And I think fitness, mental and physical, helps me feel like I'm in control of something. It distracts my brain from this fucked up chaotic world.

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