Thursday, May 13, 2010

Childfree by choice

At this time in our lives, the boyfriend and I have made the decision to not have children. This is not a decision we have taken lightly. It's not a decision we made yesterday. Or after babysitting someone else's kids. I didn't hate babies when I was a teenager and decide then I was never going to have kids. Ever. GOSH!!!!

I don't hate kids. They're funny sometimes. They're cute. Sometimes they're huge brats. This really had nothing to do my personal decision to not have children. Many, many other things did. I believe that people who choose to be childfree because they think babies are smelly and droolly are more likely change their minds later in life. Of course, I have no longitudinal study to support my musings. Moving on...

I have to deal with nearly every woman I've ever met telling me "Oh, it's different when they're yours!" Oh, really? So before you had kids you absolutely didn't want to have children? You had already made a decision to not have any children? Is that right. "Well, no. I liked kids, but you just don't understand. I couldn't imagine life without my children."

Honestly, I'm very happy for you. Being a parent seems to really suit you. However, I think it's a bit presumptuous to project your feeling on to anyone with a uterus.

There's also: "You'll change your mind when you're older." So, what you're telling me is that when you were my age, you were of the same mindset that I am now? You had decided that you never wanted children? Oh, no wait... when you were my age you had kids/were pregnant. Hmm. So, it seems to me that at my age, if you're old enough to decide that you want children, you're old enough to decide that you don't want children.

This is kind of why I discount a 15-year-old saying they never want children. A 15-year-old shouldn't be having children anyway (though they often do).

I'm not one of those people who demands equal rights that parents have. Parents get maternity leave because they have a new baby. This totally makes sense. They get tax breaks. Well, they have to provide for the kid.

Anyway, I feel very lucky that the boyfriend and I are friend with another couple who has made the same decision that we have. When I found out that they didn't want children either, I was pretty excited. Finally! Someone who understands. Someone else who cannot stand to hear "you'll change your mind."

So, if you meet me, please don't tell me I'll change my mind. And please don't extol the virtues of your bundles of joy while telling me how different it'll be when they're my own. This decision is really none of your fucking business.

These thoughts were brought about after watching the following video. Please note that I do respect parents. I don't care if you have kids. I may even laugh if your baby does something funny. It doesn't mean I want kids. I means your baby just projectile vomited into your face and that is hilarious.

Childfree by Choice


Tiffany said...

More time for you to babysit my kids.

Stargirl said...

Hahaha. You're so delusional. Yeah, I'll babysit your kids, and your 8 year old daughter will come home wearing eyeliner. And, if you really want your son to play video games with kevin, then be my guest.