Sunday, February 15, 2009

Fast Car

I ought to be working on a report based on data gathered in Gaston county about the differences between gender and salary and between gender and job category. Let me explain that second one further: I have information about some number of citizens of Gaston county. This information includes gender, salary, and job category (janitorial, clerical, managerial) among much other information. I have to compare then number of men and women in each job category and then carry out a chi-square to see expected values. Essentially, to see if men or women are over or under represented in any one category. I'm thinking women will be over represented in the clerical category and men will be over represented in the managerial category. I've already taken a peek at the numbers and they seem to agree. This report is due tomorrow. It will take me two or three hours at most.

But instead of writing this report, I am listening to Pandora and blogging and thinking. And it may be a while before I really get started. Because songs that I didn't think would come up in a "Cranberries Radio" are coming up and reminding me why I have chosen to stop taking my medicine for now. The heartbreak oozing from my speakers is seeping into my veins and gripping me tightly. It is warm and cold, lonely and comforting, all at the same time. And interspersed in these songs is lighthearted pop stuff like Love Fool by The Cardigans. It brings me back and give me time to thing about how grateful I am for feelings and emotions. I am choosing to give myself a chance to experience these emotions while I am able, before the become truly debilitating once again.

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