Wednesday, April 11, 2007

You Know You're A Boogie Nights Fan When:

You never take your skates off.

You're not in pornography. Stop saying that! You're an actor!

Your look is Chocolate Love 100%.

You're ready to shoot, everyone better be ready.

You want Amber to be your mother.

You snort baking soda because you think it makes you look cool while you do it.

When your girlfriend says, "Give it to me!" you start jumping up and down on the bed.

You ask the people at Best Buy when they'll be getting new stereo systems with the TK-421 modification.

Someone asks you about a mix you've made, you say, "Yeah, I put all my favorite songs together..." and then proceed to get really aggravated when you talk about those bands who want you to listen to their songs in some fuckin' order. I HATE THAT.

You always order 7-up at bars.

Every time you hear Jesse's Girl at a party, you say, "Ricky Springfield! He's a buddy of mine!"

You compliment doughnut shops on their seasonal doughnut offerings.

Someone asks you about violence in film, you explain that you don't like violence any more than they do and that violence is a bad thing. In fact, if movies, films caused violence, we'd be able to wipe out violence tomorrow. Boom! No more films. You'd find something else to do including fucking on your own time, because you have other interests. You're a magician, and that's something you can concentrate on in the future because you can't fuck forever. You realize that.

You think video tapes are more dangerous then habitual cocaine use.

You can bench 350. That's no BS.

You take a sip of a really strong drink, you look up and go, "Rock and roll."

Older men approach, you say "so, you want five or ten?"

Every now and then you feel like a fuggin' idiot. A fuggin' idiot. A fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot.

You say "doggie doo-doo" and you know you normally wouldn't

You like simple pleasures like butter in your ass and lollipops in your mouth. That's just you. That's something you enjoy.

You know you don't fuck with Chest and Brock

"Thanks for coming to the party!" You respond, "Yeah... is there any coke here?"

You want what's in the box under the bed in the master bedroom!

You start disliking magic because you don't like how the magician deals with all the evil forces.

The curtains in your house have your initials on them.

You see a pair of Italian shoes and say "I'm gonna fuckin' buy these"

You own shirts made of the finest imported Italian nylon.

You look in the mirror in the morning and say, "I'm a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I'm a big bright shining star."

You don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All you know is that you can't get a record contract unless you take those tapes to the record company.

1 comment:

Tokyo Pink said...

Doesn't anyone here love Boogie Nights? Geez. I friggin' love that movie!