Friday, March 30, 2007

If you were silent, do you think your friends would notice? I'm usually loud, jovial. I like to be seen as happy, whether I am or not. One day at lunch, I sat down. Someone asked me a question, I nodded my head. Tim commented on my mace earrings. I grinned and shook my head from side to side so they would bounce off my cheeks. Andrew asked why I wasn't saying anything.

"It's unusual to have a silent Mary."

I laughed and said that I hadn't meant to be silent. We moved to talk about the random things that friends will often talk about.

Today, I sat with my usual group of "friends;" the friends with whom I fit so well. And today, I was quiet. There is a difference between quiet and silent. Especially when the quiet is you sitting, unsmiling, going through the motions and the silent includes you grinning and playing with your earrings. However, no one noticed. Isn't it odd? I think if one of my friends was bummed, I'd notice. If the were quiet, distant, I'd try to bridge the gap. Bring them into the conversation, you know.

But maybe these friends know what I know: that, really, we are not friends at all.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's harsh. Maybe they just thought you looked sleepy and wanted to let you zone out? Part of living life by the golden rule is giving people the benefit of the doubt.
-d

Anonymous said...

Wow, that's harsh. Maybe they just thought you looked sleepy and wanted to let you zone out? Part of living life by the golden rule is giving people the benefit of the doubt.
-d

Anonymous said...

Double post again! Man that pisses me off!!! :) This junk computer I use at work has got to go!

Tokyo Pink said...

True, but, hmmm, it's been this way for far too long. But the thing is, after Tim and Andrew graduate, this group will be the only "friends" I've got. So, really, I just deal with it. It's pathetic, really.

Anonymous said...

Are we talking about Ann and McKenzie and the other one (anna?)

Tokyo Pink said...

Anna? There is no Anna. We're talking about the people who I've hung out with as long as I've been at the Abbey but, really, we are not friends at all. It's very superficial. It's why I spend every waking moment in Tim and Andrew's suite.

This doesn't make any sense if you didn't know me freshman year or if you don't go to school here. Oh well.

Anonymous said...

Yeah it does. You get along better with men than women. No shame in that, men are easy to understand.

Anonymous said...

Anna -> Amanda, that's pretty close. You should have known who I was talking about. I can't be the expert on my life and your life too. :)

Tokyo Pink said...

There are men in the group of "friends" also. I get along with them probably worse than the girls. Tim and Andrew are just amazing is all. I fit well with them