Saturday, January 03, 2004

You remember Michael right? He was nice, the best thing about our relationship was that I wasn't infatuated, so it wasn't overly difficult to let him go when we decided to do the friend thing before leaving for Spain, but neither of us were ready. We went out for dinner on the 23rd and we went back to my house for coffee and we kissed. No, we made out. We said our good-byes because he was leaving for Spain. Wasn't sure if I'd see him again until May, but I was okay, you know. I'd realized that and I wasn't upset or anything. I guess he didn't think about that because when I went home for the holidays he called me and told me how much he was going to miss me and he wanted to see me again before he left. On the 27th, I went down to Columbia for Home Works Christmas Break (if I haven't told you about Home Works, its a program similar to Habitat for Humanity, but we don't build homes, we repair homes for the elderly, impoverished, disabled, etc.) My co-site leader and good friend, Ricky, brings a friend from college, Brian, who is kinda nice looking and I later discover, way sweet. He was so trying to show off his soccer skillz when we were at the church gym (lodgings for the week). It was cute. And I mighta been flirting with him, and by that I mean I totally was because that's how I am. I remember we were messing around with basketballs and I get on his shoulders and try to dunk it and then I hang out up there for a while, and when I get down I rub his shoulders for a minute. Then I go and sit on my blanket (bed for the week :-D) and he comes over and thanks me because I give good back rubs. So, I pat the blanket and he sits down in front of me and I rub his back, I get him to lie down and I rub his back and neck and then give him a head rub for a while. Nearly fell asleep, he did. But he didn't, and Ricky, Brian, Katie (another girl our age) and I hung out on Ricky and Katie's two double air mattresses. Now I didn't bring my air mattress, so I teased that I was gonna stay on Ricky's and actually all four of us were on Ricky's mattress talking and sleeping until about one when Ricky and Katie rolled onto Katie's air mattress and Brian and I stayed on Ricky's. Now, it's not like we were sleeping together. I mean, we were, but we had our own blankets and pillows. We kept waking up in the middle of the night because the air system was way loud and Ricky and Katie were talking. And, well, at like 3 am, we might've kissed, and by that, I mean we did. And the thing is, I had to wake up at 6 am and drive to Anderson to say goodbye to Michael because he was bugging and when I did, we kissed. AHHHH! But.... I mean, I've gotten to see Michael and I as just friends, and that's fine because that's what we said we'd do and now he's in Spain. Well the sleeping arrangements were the same for the next two nights and on the last of 'em (there were only 3 nights) Brian and I stayed up talking to all hours. I told him I had to ask him a question, and he was like, okay? And I just sat there, and he said Mary? And I was like, Okay, you don't seem like the type at all, so I don't mean to insult you, but I just gotta ask. And he was like, Okay. And I asked are you just using me for the weekend? And he looked at me and said No, in this voice that was like, no, of course not. Why would I do that? And I was just so pleased. And we talked about what we wanted from a relationship with each other and what kinda things we felt about relationships. I think we're doing the friend thing until he gets back to school and he wants to pull his grades up (and his grades are like... really good, and Ricky told him he was crazy, but Brian's an engineer) and get a car (he's been saving for a car for a long time). And we fell asleep that night holding hands. Like, how sweet.

Okay, but like, last night was new years eve. My sister invited a bunch of people from the youth group at my family's church. So, twelve 15-19 yr. olds. And these kids like to play "Never Have I Ever" and "Truth" two games where you spill all. And then we played "Seven minutes in heaven" and "Spin the Bottle," okay? Yea. Crazy. But I kissed 4 of the 5 boys left (Greg has a girlfriend). 3 of the 4 were French because after landing on a guy three times in spin the bottle, it had to get juicy. Okay, that's bad. I know. But: Brian is not my boyfriend yet, but when I told him I talk about hott guys a lot (simply a thing I do) and asked how he would feel about that, he said he wouldn't like his girlfriend doing that (and he excepted Orlando Bloom for me of course). He wouldn't like his girlfriend flirting. Okay, duh, understandable! We're not really together yet, but we will be from how we've talked. So, I feel guilty. I should tell him? I mean, I'm not normally like that! And I don't want to scare him away before I've got him. I screwed up... but I really like him. I mean, I think I really like him. I feel like I do, but thinking logically, I've only known him for a very short time. But I think I like him a lot.

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