Sunday, February 16, 2003

Last night I think I may have gotten two hours of sleep. It took me a long time to fall asleep. My mind was stuck in middle earth, (I've been reading The Fellowship of the Ring) I was finally able to get to sleep around 0100, and when my eyes finally closed, the sleep was restless and fitful. I had dreams and nightmares. When I awoke, I cried tears upon tears. My heart was aching and my body was racked with sobs. I have no clue what brought this about. I prayed and pleaded. I read my bible, pleading with the Lord to show me something to calm my heart and ease my mind. Eventually I fell back to sleep. That was at 0230. I woke again at 0630. Those sad daydreams and visions were upon me again, but I did not cry. I told myself, "He is not so passionate. Do not make him out to be the romancer you dream of. You will be disapointed." I lay there and dreamed and sighed.

I dreamed of the lovely girl Athena. Only I know who the precious girl is. Strong and brave, but so delicate and fragile. She is so young. She is a child of a single mother, but loved by many. She is so precious. I wish she were real.


You know my daydreams now. Don't laugh. Don't wonder. It's just for me to know and not forget.

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